what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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