singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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