Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
