My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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