Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
