the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
