This dress was meant to end up on your floor
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
