do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
