it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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