Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
