I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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