I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
