just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
