There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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