My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Randomize
