covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Randomize
