I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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