Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
