That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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