bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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