Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We just shotgunned beers for America
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
