Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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