saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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