My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
