I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
