I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
