Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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