I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
