Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize