i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
