I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
