dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
