I wish I only lived at night.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
