You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
