Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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