I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
What a dumb baby whore.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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