There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
