I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
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