Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
