A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
