Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
