Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
