Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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