I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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