we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
