so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
