Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
