oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
