He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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