This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
