I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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